About

Hi. I'm the person behind The Siloed Heart.

I'm staying anonymous here, and I hope you'll understand why. This blog is about the tender, unguarded parts of loving someone, and anonymity lets me be honest in a way I couldn't otherwise. What I can tell you is this: I've lived it.

I spent a long time in a relationship where I felt siloed. Present, even loved, but kept behind walls. I was let onto the porch but never all the way into the house. I was the one who always reached, always traveled, always folded my life around someone whose world stayed exactly the same. And when I finally said “this hurts,” I somehow became the problem for having needs.

I have an anxious attachment style. It comes from things that happened long before that relationship. A childhood where love wasn't safe or steady, where I learned to survive instead of learning how to be loved well. So when I found someone whose walls I couldn't get past, my old wounds and their distance fed each other, and I spent a long time believing the disconnect was something wrong with me.

It wasn't. And if you've felt it too, it isn't wrong with you, either.

I want to be clear about what this space is and isn't. I'm not a therapist. I'm not giving clinical advice. I'm someone who's been through it, who's still healing, and who started writing because processing it out loud helped me, and because I couldn't find words for the specific loneliness of being siloed until I made them up myself. If sharing my experience helps even one other person feel less alone, then the hardest parts of what I went through will have been worth something.

Here, I'll write about what I've lived, what I'm learning, what helps me on the hard days, and how I'm slowly finding my way toward a kind of love that has room to breathe. Close, but not walled off. Staying, but not shrinking.

If you're here, I'm really glad you found this.